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What Did You Call Me?

Speaking of friends, guys’ thoughts about friendship are often murky to those outside of the beer-soaked circle of men. As men, the better friends you are, the more you are likely to mock your buddy and make fun of him. This can be one reason why guys suddenly clam up when they’re talking to their wives/girlfriends and their male friends are around. If another guy were to overhear you talking romantically, you could be the subject of their jokes and mockery for days, weeks, months—sometimes, even years. The male hierarchy is similar to apes walking around beating their chests, and men who are sweet and kind in private can become different beings altogether when they’re with their friends. The final item I want to put out there is that for all this talk about the male thought process, sometimes it isn’t all that complex. It’s always a dangerous question, because the honest answer is very often sure to dissatisfy the person asking it.

Many times, the answer might truthfully be any one of the following: “Nothing,” “Getting a meatball sub,” “How I have to go to the bathroom,” “Whether or not we’re now going to have sex now.” Obviously, guys learn pretty quickly not to tell the truth—Darwin’s survival of the fittest was some pretty deep thinking for a dude—but deep down inside, this is usually what’s (not) going on in their heads. I know this is just a cursory glance, and a bit simplistic, but I hope you can use these items as a jumping off point for making sure your manly character stays true to his gender roots. In order to help you along, here is the assignment for this week. In the lesson, I talked about directions and how it’s caused a few altercations in my relationship.

I’d like you to pick a couple of nearby well-known public places. Write down directions you’d give somebody to get from one to the other. Then, ask two friends (one a man, one a woman) to do the same. Talk about what makes them different, and rather or not the results are surprising. Make sure to tell your friends it’s a writing experiment so they don’t just Mapquest them, and make sure they write them down rather than just telling them to you, since writing is slightly more representative of the internal thought process. Also, in case you’ve ever wondered if there really is a difference in how men and women think, recent scientific studies seem to bear this theory out.

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